Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"That was funny," she said.


The only thing harder than writing dialogue is writing funny dialogue. I was perusing some exercises from Write Great Fiction - Dialogue, and I came across a short exercise that The Leaf Blower readers could participate in:


Your female character is walking late at night on a downtown street of a big city. Suddenly she is accosted by three teenage boys who grab her purse. She yells something at them as they run away. What does she yell? Write one line of dialogue for each type of character below. Try to be as original as you can. The goal is to surprise your reader.

  • a mom from the suburbs
  • a prostitute
  • a businesswoman
  • an undercover cop
  • a grandmother
  • a drag queen

Here's my attempt:

Mom:  "I'm calling your mothers!"

Prostitute: "Hold up, boys... maybe we can work out an arrangement."

Businesswoman: "Knock yourselves out, idiots. My Amex card will be cancelled before you can say 'Playstation 3'."

Cop: "You boys ever made a decision, a real bad decision, after which nothing was ever the same? This is one of those times."

Grandmother: "You can have the money, sonny -- just leave my vibrator!"

Drag queen: "Oh no you don't... you are NOT taking my Louis Vuitton!"


Now... LB readers: pick any one of these characters and give it a try.


7 comments:

  1. a mom from the suburbs :
    "It's never too late to have a happy childhood!"

    a prostitute:
    "I'm going to kick your virgin pube-less asses!"

    a grandmother:
    "By the power of the blood of the almighty jesus christ I command you satan to leave these boys and begone!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. grandmother; "jesus may forgive you but this old hag doesn't! burn in hell!"

    drag queen "YEAH YOU BETTER RUN! IM GOING TO OPEN MY CAN OF WHIP ASS ON Y'ALL"

    businesswoman "my secretary will hunt you ass down. watch your back."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Prostitute: You think you took my money, but your wrong. My pimp is gonna find you and kill your asses.

    Grandmother: My pappa took this Ruger from the fuhrer's bunker himself in the WWII and if you try that again I'll put more holes in y'ah!

    Mom: Billy? William James Mathew McDonald get your ass back here this instant.

    -kh

    ReplyDelete
  4. A Mom from the suburbs:
    "You best watch out, my Hummer takes no prisoners!"

    A Prostitute:
    "You got that all wrong honey, you are supposed to be paying me!"

    Businesswoman:
    "I am sure we can work this out over a Martini lunch."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Seems the LB readers are an angry bunch... lots of ass-kicking going on. Great posts, everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  6. grandmother: [starts barking like an angry dog]

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brian I like yours. good work

    ReplyDelete